So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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