Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
