i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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