i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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