I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
