I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
