You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
