Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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