She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
