Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
