Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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