I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
