I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
