Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize