It's like God shit irony all over that family
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
