Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
