First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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