my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
