it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
