too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
