Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
