How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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