TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
