yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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