I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
