he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
