this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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