I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
