is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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