Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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