the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
