I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
