either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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