All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
