youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
