terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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