He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
