I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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