he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Two words: blizzard sex
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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