where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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