my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I believe in your delicious
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
