My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Dicks are not precious.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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