I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
