Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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