I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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