So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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