Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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