1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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