I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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