small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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