I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize