What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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