Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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