a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
