So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
