Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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