Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
