I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
