She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
